COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE OVERVIEW

Does the Divorce Process Have to be Destructive?

Everybody knows how destructive and painful divorce, and particularly an adversarial divorce, can be. Most have heard stories about husbands and wives going to war,over the children,over child and spousal support,over division of assets, and taking their dispute to court with devastating results. The court process can be long, expensive, and emotionally traumatic for both of the spouses and the children. Can't there be a better way?

There certainly is – that is the Collaborative Approach to the divorce process. The Collaborative Approach offers divorcing couples a way of removing the adversarial element inherent in their divorce proceedings, and replaces it with an approach that consists of mutual respect and team problem solving. The Collaborative Approach creates and fosters an atmosphere of open communication and cooperation that assists the couple in shaping an agreement that best meets their needs and the needs of the children during the separation process and beyond.

What is the Collaborative Divorce Process?

Collaborative Divorce is based on the fact that an increasing number of separating spouses want to settle their issues with the help of professionals in an inexpensive, amicable and respectful manner. It's a cooperative, rather than competitive, method of resolving issues associated with the dissolution of a marriage and is based on full disclosure and empathy rather than on mistrust and trying to "win" through the use of antagonistic tactics and deceit. At its most basic, the Collaborative Divorce process seeks to develop a consensus between the separating spouses on a mutually beneficial settlement. This settlement can include the division of assets, spousal or child support arrangements and/or a plan for the ongoing care of children.

A Collaborative approach to the divorce process is different from other approaches to divorce such as litigation, self-representation, or mediation. Collaborative Divorce is a more respectful way to resolve family disputes as both spouses attempt to leave relationship as intact as possible. The process is thought to provide for a more durable outcome while maintaining the integrity of the participants. Furthermore, by helping families stay out of court, particularly when children are involved, the Collaborative Divorce process helps transition the family into post-divorce co-parenting in the healthiest way possible.

The Benefits of the Collaborative Divorce Process

The benefits of collaboration for a separating couple and their children are that it:

  • Creates a safe and cooperative environment where the needs and interests of both the children and their parents can be met
  • Employs problem-solving techniques that foster efficient resolution of the issues arising out of separation and divorce
  • Allows couples to retain control of their separation and divorce process as well a degree of privacy they would not have if they took their matter to the public forum of a court
  • Provides the separating couple with the flexibility to craft an agreement together, build confidence in their own dispute resolution abilities, and reach a consensus on a separation agreement
  • Minimizes the parties' legal costs
  • Provides a model that provides separating spouses a structure for both emotional support and legal guidance
  • Requires the parties to provide timely disclosure of relevant financial information making the collaborative process efficient and effective
  • Helps the parties maintain a respectful relationships following separation and divorce which is particularly important when children are involved
  • Addresses and makes provision for the needs and well being of the children
  • Helps newly- structured families begin new hopeful and healthy lives


Benefits of the Collaborative Divorce Process for Children

Studies have found that it is not the divorce itself that is most destructive to a child's well being, but rather the level of distress, conflict, and loss experienced by their parents as a function of the divorce process. If divorce is necessary, children deserve to have their parents do it as sensitively, sanely, and with as little conflict as possible.

The Collaborative Divorce process protects children in several ways.

  • It is cost-effective, thereby protecting the financial resources of the family, (resources that are better directed toward the children's well being).
  • The non-adversarial approach protects the ongoing relationship between the separating spouses and their children, building on the available good-will and recognition that their co parenting relationship will go on forever.
  • When divorce coaches participate in the Collaborative Divorce process, they work to create the best possible family environment post divorce. Realistic parenting plans that really work are developed.  Should there be any future problems or if the children's developmental changes require an adjustment to the parenting plan, the family can return to their Collaborative Divorce team to make any necessary changes. 
  • The Collaborative Divorce process can include Child Advocates whose job it is to understand the children's perspectives and to advocate for their best interests throughout the process.

Lawyers and a team of other professionals play an important role in the Collaborative Divorce Process.

Please note that this information is general in nature and not intended to be a substitute for legal advice. If you would like to know more about using a Collaborative Approach to negotiate n agreement with your spouse following the breakdown your marriage or common law relationship, please contact a lawyer. You can get free information about how to select and retain a lawyer by getting a copy of the FREE REPORT offered at the top right-hand corner of this page. Do not sign a separation agreement without independent legal advice.